Discussion Board

Hey all.

I have an issue I would welcome your advise on, relating to an U12 girls team.. A potentially serious issue has been developing over the last few months that has only now fallen at my desk to deal with. A coach/parent raised a concern with me recently that I've not had so much practical experience dealing with as I usually work with older junior players. Our U12 girls team at my club have around 18 girls. The team are developing, and thankfully prioritise enjoyment in competition. (The team are also performing fairly well, strange!). 

The issue is that the team has two girls (sisters) who are both ultra competitive and very angry. Not mean, not bully's, just very emotional and clearly very mentally unstable, making it very difficult for the two volunteer coaches with no expertise in the psychological/social components of their coaching roles. The two girls in question are, by definition the two fastest 12 year olds on the Island and already compete as 12 year olds on the National youth sprint team. Along with a fairly competitive household they have been a part of a brutal win at all costs programme in athletics, which has in turn led to an issue that I could do with your help on..

The two girls are clearly the 'best' players in the group, though they are never told. They have potential to be two of the brightest talents in the country given their brilliant physical attributes at such a young age. 

Unfortunately the coaches aren't able to draw on the girls' potential because whenever the team concede goals, lose a game, or the two girls feel that things aren't going their way they will immediately ask to be substituted. This normally ends in one or both of them sulking. They'll often make a point of venting their frustration by moaning between themselves or worse, simply walking away from the court side. 

I have coached the two girls in a training environment and have experienced no issue whatsoever- I'm really not sure whether its the way I deal with them (or dont deal with them) or whether its because I coach their 16 year old brother so a kind of indirect trust has developed. I have a very particular way of dealing with him (goal setting & basic mental coaching techniques) but I just dont think these would work with the girls given their age and maturity. 

From the stands it looks almost as if they dont want to go through the failure process in training. Maybe they are well aware of their 'success' in athletics to the extent that they can't deal with being just one of the group in Handball. Last week one of the two literally stopped playing during a match, and avoided receiving a pass from her team. The coach substituted her and she sat on the bench emotionless for the rest of the game. 

If you ask the girls they'd say they love Handball, enjoy playing the sport and enjoy being a part of the group. They never miss training and are always 30 minutes early, doing their dynamic warmup from athletics prior to Handball training. (Quite funny actually, the other girls trying to follow them through the exercises). Off court they are courteous and well mannered. They are friends with the other girls but when they get on court they almost go into a shell and have real problems fitting in. 

Its got to the point where the other players are getting frustrated with the two girls, but are seemingly unable to actually talk to the girls about it (I dont know the friendship status or whether their is a hierarchy in the group affecting their willingness to actually discuss their frustrations openly). This has in turn negatively affected the other girls performances and, more worryingly the rest of the groups togetherness. They're now developing a blame culture and I worry that what could be such a minor issue could turn into something that will lead to huge dropout in the not so distant future. I worry that any form of team meeting / discussion between the group will simply break the two girls, who I feel wouldn't be able to cope with having discuss their feelings with the rest of the group. I might be wrong but Im certainly not willing to give it a go as an uneducated sport psychologist! 

I oversee 17 coaches at our club, and often deal with difficult circumstances, but this is a new one for me and I have a feeling it'll require some psychology expertise if I dig deeper into it, which im really not qualified enough for. Interestingly, their mother is a teacher and having spoken with her, she feels that the girls simply aren't being dealt with in the right way. 

Like I said, I've dealt with a number of challenging cases but I just can't put my finger on how to deal with this one. Does anyone have any experience of this? Im particularly interested in hearing how you would deal with it without risking losing the 'trouble makers'. I know the club are taking the approach of 'if they can't find a way to fit in then they shouldn't be playing' but I for me this is a easy way out and is really not an option for me. My opinion is that these are young girls who need to be nurtured. There must surely be a way to get these girls functioning on the same team without forcing them out? 

Thoughts welcome